Suddenly, you lost your mind. You don’t know who you are any more. Even your actions are no longer familiar to you. It is something that you have seen in a movie or read in a book. Not in a million years could you imagine that you would end up like this. They call it love but what’s love got to do with it? You can only try to figure where you fall in the spectrum of insanity because, what the hell is this anyway?
Have you ever been so sure that a spell has been cast upon you? Why would someone intentionally decide to get into your life and disrupt your peace? That you of all people, holding nothing special would be a target picked from hundreds just to be put through misery for nothing at all? Well, without claiming innocence or goodness, I’d like to think that there is a limit to which you deserve to be mistreated. There is a certain level that exceeds humanity. Rather respect for another human being’s emotions.
Since I heard Love on the Brain by Rihanna, the lyrics held a special place in my heart. The song is definitely beautiful, but of course I had not considered what the song was really about. Just another love song, so I thought. But we get to understand song lyrics even better when we come across life experiences that are spoken in the lyrics.
I don’t understand why any human would intentionally decide to reel you in solely for the purpose of playing with your mind and heart. Trust me it happens more than we think and expect. You are left wondering, does this person enjoy doing this to me? Is it a hobby or a fun activity that they do in their extra time? The problem is, you never figure this out until you are sucked in and sinking deep into it. Everyone thinks you are stupid for allowing yourself to be treated like crap. They warn you against the situation and even protect you from it whenever they can. But they don’t know what you know about the situation. You understand it better. He is broken. Like a wounded dog he bit you but he never intended to, because you cannot hurt what you love. You know he is apologetic and never meant to hurt you. They don’t see that but you do. Stockholm Syndrome!
When you wake up from the “idea” of love that they are trying to paint to you, you realize that that’s no way to love. you deserve better as a human being and so you decide to confront the situation so that you can put an end to it. They come back with a sweet tongue and reel you back in. string you along for as long as they feel like you are their past time activity. Explaining why they never intended to hurt you, they were trying to push you away because they did not want you to get involved in their misery, then you feel like crap because you knew all this and instead of understanding the situation you did not show support and added to their burden. So again, you are in, you shouldn’t have said that. You shouldn’t have hurt him. You understand him. He loves you. He told you so and you know it. You are back in and the cycle is right back at the start.
At this point, it is you who can’t leave. You are in too deep. Might even be in love. Must be love on the brain? That no matter what you do you seem inadequate to them? You want to give them more, show more but at this point they are bored already and don’t want you around. In desperation you claim to love them. Afraid of that the rag would be pulled from right under your feet. But it is already done. To see if they still love you as they did before. Nothing. They got you going crazy. you invested a lot on this situation. You are now fist-fighting with fire to be closer. Still, nothing. It’s gone with the wind. You want more but are not getting even enough. It is clear that you have been played but you don’t want to admit it.
How could someone be so cruel? What did you do to deserve this? Do you enjoy being hurt? A question that everyone has been asking you. Because they saw right through it when you thought you were too nice to be played. When you thought you thought you were so smart that something of the sort would never happen to you. Now all is left is anger and bitterness. But nothing can be done. It’s too late. That’s what people do to each other. You are no special.